There are a lot of little things that have come from having Dee in my life. I love broccoli. I genuinely think broccoli is probably the tastiest and funniest looking vegetable and I'm pretty sure this obsession was born of being the daughter of Dee. I'm also partial to a good bouquet of flowers, something that I've definitely inherited from Dee. (I'm sat in her front room and as I type this, I can see four vases with flowers in them... in ONE room.)
Even Dee herself is becoming one of these little things. She always told me she would shrink as she got older - and she wasn't wrong.
But there's other little things that have come from this illness that are littered about the house. Dee has got into the habit of buying trinkets and bric-a-brac every time she leaves the house. My parents have gone from living in a fairly minimalistic, nicely decorated home to a Museum of Charity Shop Junk. Ballet dancers, china boxes with cherubs on top, candleabra, elephants, ships, decanters, ship decanters, cats, teapots, cat teapots... I need a lie down.
Then there's the other little thing - the small talk. Dee is now well rehearsed in this. The Queen of Deflection. The Mistress of Chatter. Any time she doesn't know the answer (which is becoming increasingly regular) she passes the buck to Father, or change the topic via the medium of compliments.
But I've realised the biggest little thing of all this is to remember the little picture. This is key to making this whole scenario a bit more bearable. When looking at the bigger picture, we're faced with decades of care that will cost an obscene amount of money, not to mention the pain and grief that comes with deciding when she's actually finally left us for good (death is normally the go-to stage in all this, but sadly Dee will mentally give way before any physical change, so when's the final moment of passing with that?) and then there's the guilt that comes with deciding enough is enough and we should move on with our lives.
So the little picture is incredibly important. One doctor's appointment, meal, day, week at a time. This makes the mountain more manageable.
Oh. And one more little thing... I may have signed up for the Bath Half Marathon... no biggie. Donations can be made on my Virgin Money Giving page. Big donations.
